The Genetic Blueprint
We owned a little black female mongrel dog that we named Poopsee. Poopsee was the happiest little person I knew. It seemed that Poopsee had a problem tail because she couldn’t keep it still. They say dogs can’t smile, but you never met Poopsee. Poopsee`s eyes even smiled. She would wag her tail and smile with her eyes and move her backside towards you to make sure you had enough room to pet her, so the two of you could share the most joy and happiness possible. Poopsee was the last dog I ever really cared about.
One afternoon, I picked Poopsee up and carried her into the alley. I was seven years old. I sat down in the alley next to the fence and took Poopsee in my arms. I hugged her and squeezed her and told her how much I loved her. She responded in kind. We really had a moment together. Then all of a sudden, I grabbed her by her front leg and started to beat her as hard as I could. After seven or eight spankings, she wiggled away.
I felt really bad for Poopsee and my heart broke for her. I told her how sorry I was and I promised to “never do that again”. She believed me. She came right back into my arms. We hugged and embraced as I promised her, again that “I would never hurt her again”. We had another special moment. Then a surge of hostility arose as it had before. I grabbed her by the front leg and began the beating once again. The results were the same. She scurried away as I begged her forgiveness. She quickly forgave me.
This cycle happened six or seven times until she no longer trusted me. I couldn’t get her close enough to continue the punishment. My love for Poopsee and my anger and sadistic craving had both been satisfied.
Author`s note: This pattern would be the cause of more pain to myself and my family than any other pattern that I inherited from my parents through the genetic blueprint.